I gotta tell ya folks, a person doesn’t have to look far to find a subject to write about for his blog. FaceBook will serve up some doozies on a pretty regular basis. Take this little chat I had with an old classmate from Arizona this morning. How could I resist?
I was minding my own business—if that’s what you call watching a bunch of my FaceBook friends tell me every move and thought they’re having—when Susan, who shall remain otherwise anonymous, came be-bopping along with her daily weather report from Verrado, Arizona. (Well, sort of anonymous.)
When she does that, I kind of like to shoot back what the weather’s like here in central Texas, and when she reported 71 degrees was going to be the high temp for today, I shot back—with a just a touch of braggadocio—that the high here was to be 86, bright sunshine and a slight breeze.
She comes right back with, “Richard (her other, but not necessarily better, half) says, ‘What is your humidity?’”
I sat blinking at the screen, stunned…
I grew up in the Arizona desert, you see, and since moving back to Texas I’ve heard a particular statement about—oh, let’s see—a MILLION TIMES!
The conversation always goes something like this:
Other person: “Wow! It’s HOT today!”
Me (speaking before thinking): “This ain’t nothing. In Arizona, where I grew up, it was a hundred and twenty in the shade.”
Other person, looking at me like I’m about as intelligent as the average rock: “Yes, but it’s a dry heat.”
It’s okay, I’ve gotten used to it.
But then THIS! I’m telling you my brain locked up when I read Susan’s words, “Richard says, ‘What is your humidity?’” I’d just been slapped in the other cheek! I was now getting this dry heat/wet heat from both directions! There was no winning! I was alone so I screamed (not like a little girl screams, but a more manly scream.)
So now, I’m wondering: Do people in places like, say, Alaska and Minnesota debate the cold?
Guy from Minnesota: “Man it’s COLD today! Must be 20 below!”
Guy from Alaska: “This ain’t nothing. Back in Alaska it’s 100 below in the winter!
Minnesota guy, shaking his head sadly: “Yes, but it’s a dry cold.”
AAAARRRRGGHH! <—- manly scream