Police! Open Up!

April 27, 2012 at 6:03 am · Filed under funny stuff, Mostly true ·Tagged author, Charles L. Mashburn, http://kellieelmore.com/2012/04/27/fwf-free-write-friday-without-a-paddle/, http://kellieelmore.com/books/, police, robbery, story, writer

For her Free Write Friday today, Kellie Elmore suggests we write about a time when we were “up the creek without a paddle”. She remembers the saying a bit differently–I reckon it’s a Tennessee thang –but I think you all know what we mean.

Police! Open Up!

Thankfully, I’ve never heard those words from the other side of my front door. I was, however, visited by an officer of the law yesterday. He rang the bell and waited patiently for me to answer. Then! Four of them pounced on me, cuffed me and dragged me, kicking and screaming, to the van parked at the curb!

I’m kidding!

I am a much too calm and collected person to have screamed and kicked. What were you thinking?

There was only one of them, and he asked me, very politely, to turn around so he could cuff me.

Still kidding!

Okay! I’m making all this up! Jeesh! Sometimes my imagination just takes off on its own! Gimme some slack, here!

About an hour before the officer arrived at my door, I had answered the bell to find an extremely angry woman on the stoop. She demanded to know if two young boys lived with me, and I assured her that was not the case. Not curtailed by my blank expression of wonder, and quick denial of what she thought to be fact, she proclaimed they had been seen running into my back yard by her son, who they had just robbed.

I calmly informed her that this was not possible in light of the fact both the gates to my back yard are bolted. The thieves would have had to climb the six-foot privacy fence, and seeing how said fence is a bit aged, I don’t think it would’ve withstood a climbing by the alleged (thought I better throw that in) thieves.

Hoping to get this angry woman off my front porch, I went to the back yard and made sure no hoodlums were skulking there. The yard was empty, and the gate bolts were in place.

The woman, seemingly satisfied a gang of thieves was not hiding in my yard or elsewhere in the house, stalked off to the neighbor’s house to interrogate them. Her son—he looked to be about twelve but big for his age–followed along behind her, but not  before casting a sidelong glance at me which said, “Help!” Even the glance was filled with timidity. Poor kid; he was probably wishing he hadn’t told his mom somebody had stolen his Ipod from him.

The policeman showed up about an hour later, and he is the real reason I’m writing this. I would like to give him some kudos. Officer Kling of the College Station Police Department was what I hope all officers of the law could be. He was friendly, courteous, respectful, and expressed a sincere concern over the theft that had occurred earlier.

I wrote this little story in a humorous vein, but my intent was to commend this fine young man. If any of you have the means of forwarding this to his superiors, please feel free to do so.

Guys (and gals) like Officer Gatlin Kling need to know their efforts, and their professional behavior, are very much appreciated!

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