The Richard Rule

I’ve told you about the pasture pool golf course out in Spicewood Beach where we used to live in several of my stories (there will be more golf stories!);are two examples. Here’s another one you might enjoy.

I write a lot of little stories about the golf course at Spicewood Beach where we used to live. A couple of them are  The Daily Lie, and Redneck Economics It was a nine-hole, self-maintained little course (see my story Mowing The Greens), that was fairly nice when it would rain and green-up the fairways, but a lot of the time it was, shall we say, rough.

As a result, we kind of made up some rules to accommodate play, such as allowing ourselves to move the ball off of hard ground onto a tuft of grass that might still be within twenty or so feet of our ball. Most of us didn’t even keep score when the course was that dry and hard—it would make the game too, depressing.

One thing we seldom had to worry about were water hazards. There was a small pond on the right side of the number one fairway, but during the dry season, we didn’t even fill it with water. Amazingly, though, that little 150 square foot pond was quite the ball magnet when it was full of water. Strange how water can effect a golf swing, isn’t it. I’ve got a good story about my brother Ken regarding that very phenomenon, but I’ll tell you that one another time.

This little tattle tale is about my buddy Richard Fontenot. He’s just another of typical pasture-pool duffers, and every now and then he can get on a roll—as in he can’t hit the ball. It might be the beer, or maybe he had a couple of rum and cokes before he came down the hill to play golf, but I’ve seen him take three and four swings at a ball, and miss it every time; doesn’t bother Richard. The rest of the gang can be standing behind him hoo-rahing him and he just keeps on swinging.

On a good day—well, a better day—when he’s actually hitting the ball every time he swings at it, he still has some difficulty with accuracy and distance. That’s why he invented the “Richard Rule”. Simply stated, the Richard Rule says if you are not satisfied with the results of your shot, you may continue to hit additional shots until one is either playable, suits your mood, you run out of golf balls, it’s too hot to play golf, or you just don’t want to play golf any  more. There is no penalty involved in the Richard Rule. Like I said, most of us don’t keep score anyway.

I hope Richard isn’t offended by this national exposure regarding his golfing skills.

I heard he’s getting better at the game since he retired. I need to go visit him and verify that.

3 Comments »

  1. Sherry Mashburn said

    Yay, Richard!

  2. Sounds like the beginning of golf in Scotland. We just returned home from winter in Palm Desert where I golfed 3-4 times a week on our course that has 12 water hazards. It is amazing, like you said, what water will do to your head. Enjoyed this post.

    • I am one of those guys who can usually NOT be psyched by water hazards. My swing, however, is eratic enough that sometimes it doesn’t matter. If ya know what I mean….

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