Golf Tips

I have been known to be a bit of a smart aleck now and then. No, no, I know most of you find that hard to believe, but it’s true. Every once in a great while, I lose my mild mannered courteous ways, and say something inappropriate; it happens to the best of us.

My golfing buddy Jay Bird has wandered into the path of one of my salvos now and then, but him being a bit of a wise-guy his own self, he usually walks away none the worse for wear. I got him good one day out on the course though.

We were playing a really nice course out at Kingsland, called The Legends. It’s one of those rolling, wide-open golf courses, where guys like us can usually get back to the clubhouse without hurting anyone or breaking any windows. Jay Bird does not like to play on those courses that have houses lining the fairways; freaks him out worse than a water hazard full of ducks.

We were out in the middle of one of those wide fairways, and Jay Bird’s ball had come to rest on one of the rolling portions I mentioned. He was standing well above his ball, and trying to figure out how to set up so as to hit it properly. He was discussing the situation with himself, and when he finally came to the conclusion of the seminar, he took a mighty swing and hit the ball about ten feet directly to the right of where he was standing.

I had witnessed the fiasco from my seat in the golf cart, and when he turned and complained that he never could remember how to set up for a shot when the ball was below his feet like that, I shrugged and said, “You shoulda asked me.”

“Oh,” he said, as he walked over to hit the ball again. It was on level ground this time, and he hit a decent shot that landed just short of the green.

A few holes later, I’ll be darned if he didn’t have another shot, almost identical to the one he’d muffed before. He chose a club, then walked over and surveyed the situation. I think it was about then he remembered what I’d said about he shoulda asked me.

He turned and said, “Okay, how am I supposed to set up to hit this shot?”

I shrugged my shoulders and said, “Danged if I know.”

He gave me this exasperated look and said, “Well, you told me I should ask you!”

I smiled and said, “Yes, but I didn’t say I would know.”

Ain’t I a hoot?


  1. Sherry said

    Hoot is just another word for . . . .

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