It Was Suh-Weet!

Here’s another little driving story from when I was a shy innocent little kid. No, really, I was. Just ask my cousin Marlene. I told this story to Aunt Doris—Marlene’s mom—last time I saw her, and she didn’t remember it happening. It might be one of those I dreamed, but I’m pretty sure it was real. Maybe Marlene will remember it.

My cousin’s name is Linda Marlene, and we called her Linda back then. Somewhere along the line she decided she likes her middle name better than her first; girls are weird like that. I wrote a story awhile back about my cousin Buster (Watch What You Say), and how I got back at him for being a bully. Well, let me just say Linda Marlene was a wee bit hard on us younger kids, too. Buster was mean in a more physical way, while Marlene was the kind to torment you mentally; especially me and her little brother, Ed.

One day, I have no idea why, I was riding in the back seat of Aunt Doris’ car with Linda. I’m guessing I was about seven, and Linda would have been nine (I think). Aunt Doris was, of course, driving, and I was sitting on the opposite side of the car from her in the back seat. Linda was sitting in the middle of the back seat, leaning forward so she could see out the front windshield.

Linda and I were both chewing gum—chewing gum, not bubble gum—and Linda was snapping her gum. You know, with chewing gum, you stretch it over your tongue a little bit, then inhale and it makes a little bubble then pops, making a little snapping sound.

Aunt Doris was enjoying this gum snapping about as much as my dad enjoyed the ashtray serenade in my story, Eeeyeent! Eeenk!, and after a few minutes she looked at Linda in the rearview mirror, and said, “Linda Marlene! If you snap that gum one more time, I’m gonna smack you!”

Now, Aunt Doris was not one to be trifled with, and Linda slid back in the seat and ceased the gum snapping immediately. She gave me a wide-eyed glance, and I shrugged and looked out the window.

A few minutes later, when it appeared Aunt Doris had calmed down from the gum snapping episode, I looked over to see Linda was reading a book. She was chewing her gum very quietly, and had taken her mom’s advice as to ceasing the snapping of it.

I stretched my gum just right, leaned ever so slightly toward Linda and snapped it, then looked back out my window.

From the corner of my eye, I saw Linda’s head jerk up, then like lighting here came Aunt Doris’ hand and she landed a backhand across Linda’s forehead. I could see Linda looking at me, and I glanced over to see the look of amazed shock on her face, before returning my attention to the buildings we were passing. I saw Aunt Doris do a couple of double-takes in my direction, and I stole a glance at her. She couldn’t help but laugh.

“Charlie!” she said. “I can’t believe you did that!”

I just smiled at her, then turned and treated cousin Linda to one of the best “gotcha” grins of all time.

It was suh-weet!

 

2 Comments »

  1. Sherry said

    Somehow I think you gave as good as you got!!

  2. […] https://charleslmashburn.wordpress.com/2011/05/30/it-was-suh-weet/ […]

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