Are You Mad?

If you missed the first four installments of this whacky ride–er, I mean walk–you messed up! But in case you’re interested, you can go to the links below and catch up:

1. When Does Weird Cross The Line?

2. Walk a Mile With My Shoe

3. Bring it, Scuff Boy!

4. The First Hundred Yards.

Now, if all that isn’t enough, I’ve got more, so come on! Part four is here!

It was really, really hot, and the last thing I wanted to do was walk around the park. The high temperature had only dropped below the century mark once in the last fifteen days, and the forecast was for more of the same for the next twenty days—probably longer. The shoe seemed to be feeling the effects of it, because by the time we crossed the street and arrived at the park it was no longer bouncing merrily; it was simply allowing me to drag it along, bouncing only slightly when it would encounter an expansion joint in the sidewalk.  I stopped and looked back at it; feeling extremely silly, spoke to it.

 

“You okay?”

 

There was no response from the shoe, but a young lady who’d seemingly appeared from out of nowhere took several years off my life when she spoke from behind me.

 

“You and your shoe need to get out of the sun,” she said. I could imagine the grin on her face even before I turned to see it.

 

I didn’t recognize her. In my walks around the park, I normally see the same people; I figured she must be new to the neighborhood.

 

I smiled and said, “Oh it’s not my shoe, I’m keeping it for a friend.”

 

She smiled even wider and said, “Shoe sitting, are you then?” She had a touch of an English accent, but so slight it was hardly noticeable. More word usage and arrangement than lilt, if you know what I mean.

 

I held my ground and said, “Exactly.” Shrugging my shoulders I added, “I tried to tell him it was too hot out.” I made that up, but it seemed the logical thing to say.

 

“And he answered you how?” One of her eyebrows had angled slightly above her Sarah Palin style glasses. I could feel the heat rising in my cheeks.

 

“It,” I said. “I don’t really know if it’s a he or a she. I mean, I don’t think it’s either. I, uh…”

 

She said, “Can we move to the shade over there by the tree? I believe it might give us a more comfortable setting for this lovely conversation.”

 

Not waiting for me to answer, she moved over to the tree. I followed her, dragging the seemingly lifeless shoe along behind me. I stood waiting for her to say something, but she merely pointed toward the shoe.

 

“You’ve left your poor shoe in the sun,” she said.

 

I pulled the shoe over so that it was in the shade.

 

“Are you mad?” the young lady asked.

 

I looked up, certain the expression on my face showed my shock at her question.

 

“No!” I said. “I’m a bit irritated—not at you, mind you—at the shoe. No. Not at him… it, either; the concept of having to walk a shoe. But no, I’m not mad.”

 

After I’d finished my rambling explanation, she laughed loudly and then said, “Not mad, as in angry; mad as in have you taken leave of your senses—lost your marbles, I believe might be one of your American expressions.”

 

I was wearing cherries on my cheeks now; hot with embarrassment. And where are you from?” I asked.

 

“England,” she answered, holding her hand out to me. As I shook it, she said, “I’m Catie. Cat with an i e.”

 

I wanted to say, yes you certainly are, but manners prevailed. “Pleased to meet you, Catie,” I said. “I’m Charlie.”

 

“Likewise,” she said, smiling cattishly. “I suppose we might cross paths again. I assume you walk your friend regularly; in the morning, perhaps?”

 

I shrugged. “Usually my dog,” I said. “My friend should be back soon, so you might see me walking my dog.”

 

She turned to leave then turned back to me. “I was just joking, you know. I don’t really suspect that you’re mad.” With that, she turned and walked away.

 

I picked up the shoe and started back toward home. I was silently mimicking Catie as I walked, grossly exaggerating her slight accent; I doon’t rally suspect yooaw mawd.

 

8 Comments »

  1. Mike Metheny said

    Ha, imagine the comments I got when I told somebody that I was walking a friends thong and somebody behind me thought I said I was wearing a friends thong. #starkravingmad

  2. sherry mashburn said

    The shoe set you up

  3. 😀 Well I gotta smile reading this! Hahahaha! I love this shoe more every time I read about your adventures! And what a precocious young woman!! ;] So do you reckon you’ve covered a mile yet, or do these strolls keep getting cut short by onlookers, determined to embarrass you? I am going to have to save this story somewhere once it’s got all it’s pieces… still can’t wait to find out what happens next! :] Made my day. :] xx

    • Do I reckon? Did you just ask me, “do I reckon?”? That cracks me up. Do they say that in England?
      I thought you might like this segement, with it’s new character.
      We’ve actually only covered that first hundred yards, but I plan to get at least a half mile in tomorrow morning while it’s cool. The shoe just loafed around the house all day today.
      So glad me and my pal could make you smile!
      Probably report back about Tuesday or Wednesday.

      • Yes, yes I reckon we do. Well I do anyhow. Looking forward to it, the whole saga is hysterical! ;] xx

      • ah’ight den. We’re fixin ta work on it here in a bit. G’day!

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