Dearest wife:

This is something new! I’m posting this new original work to Free Write Friday, in response to their Postcards Home. The prompt is as follows:

Close your eyes for a moment and imagine you are far from home. The reason does not matter, you could be in prison in a foreign country, you could be held hostage for ransom… you could have been swept away by a magical elf who stole you for his bride, it doesn’t matter.
All that matters is that you are gone and away from everyone and everything you know and love. Now this may evoke happiness because you desperately needed this time alone… or you may feel sadness and anxiety because you could never imagine being suddenly separated from your life and everything in it. Either way, you are completely isolated.

Now, you have the ability to send one postcard home. What would you say?

This is my post card home:

Dearest wife:

I thought I could fight them

I was wrong

They came in the night

Stealth in black

My cries were muffled

A rag stuffed in my mouth

Hood over my head

Wrapped in a blanket

Barely able to breathe

As I rode in the cold, rumbling vehicle

I wondered if you’d slept through it all

Or had they taken you to another place

Are you in this… place

I doubt I will return

I smell death here

If this note finds its way to you

Please, know I loved you

Deny me

And they will probably leave you alone

Or at least let you live

I hear them coming

I gotta go

 

P.S. –  I’m not afraid

Copyright © 2011 C. Mashburn                    There is now a sequel to this poem. Read it now by clicking here —> Dearest John:

64 Comments »

  1. Sherry Mashburn said

    Could never, will never deny you

  2. Oh my gosh! That last line… “im not afraid”…gave me chills! This is amazing, Charles! Thank you for such a great entry to Free Write Friday!!!
    Hugs!!!
    P.s…hope to see you next weekend

    • You will see me! I subscribed to your blog; that’s how I found out about this. Love it!
      I’m glad you liked it! I wondered about the last line. Almost took it off. Thought maybe it was too much drama.
      I’ll be watching for yours and other entries!

  3. WOW … but a last note to your loved one … the final line is the clincher!! Glad you kept it and didn’t cut it out! Well done ~~

  4. Mama Zen said

    Wow! Very cool!

  5. Chimnese said

    Charles one word ‘wow’ I loved this so deep.
    My entry u’ll find it on the comments on Kellie’s FWF prompt.

  6. booguloo said

    Great write.

  7. Damn… this is so… damn.

    “PS — I’m not afraid”…

    damn!

    AWESOME poem.

    • Thanks so much! I am simply thrilled at the response to this poem! And as I said earlier, I almost took that last line off, concerned it was too dramatic.
      Thanks again for the AWESOME comment and compliment! Y’all are putting a big smile on this ol’ boy’s face today!

  8. Mikael said

    Wow… this is intense and beautifully constructed. I would hate to receive that postcard because it would make me cry. I would be honored to have such a brave significant other though.

    • Thank you very much, Mikael! I agree, it would not be good to recieve this.
      I appreciate your wonderful comments!

  9. This is great … nice write.
    Isadora

  10. dhitzunako said

    Wow, the thrill, the thrill…
    I wonder whether the postcard will be sent though.
    Well, the mystery lingers…

    PS – Can I be one of them that said, ‘Wow” ? 😉

    dhitz of dhitermination.wordpress.com

  11. Sherry is one lucky lady to have a poet for a husband who is not afraid to express his love for her. Lovely to read, Charles.

  12. I thought I could see where this was going from the beginning, but I couldn’t, quite. The instructions to her, for her survival to deny you are quite striking.

    It makes me think of Peter denying Jesus, somehow, when the danger of admitting who you belong to is very real. But of course, to ask your wife to deny you, for her sake– that’s kind of stunning.

    Here’s the piece I put into this week’s rally:
    http://elainedanforth.wordpress.com/2011/08/26/tense-up-go-limp/

    • Yes! I had the same thought as I wrote this–Peter denying Jesus–and I wondered could a devoted wife deny her husband i a situation such as this.
      Thanks for visiting and for the thought-filled comments!

  13. ashbeezone said

    Very Nice Poetry with an amazing Imagination
    Great Work of Creativity !!

    It was indeed enjoyable after reading this one !!

    Anyways, Take a look some of my Poetry Collections …
    http://ashbeezone.wordpress.com/category/talent-underground/poetry-zone/

    some of my Haiku Collections
    http://ashbeezone.wordpress.com/category/creative-challenges/the-haiku-challenge/

    and also, on my very recent Work as well
    http://ashbeezone.wordpress.com/2011/08/15/india-of-my-dream/

    !!! Happy Rally !!!
    Cheers !!

    • Thank you for the visit and comments!
      I have checked out some of your poems, and will go back again!

  14. poetryroad said

    I mean this one was a BIG WOW for me…edge of my seat and the way you reflected between yourself and your wife. The PS was the closer…great job!

    • A BIG WOW! Holy cow! (I haven’t got a “holy cow” yet!)
      What an awesome comment/compliment! Thank you so very much!

  15. Great piece this, the ending is really powerful. I love how the narrative of the poem brings questions to the mind, why has he been taken? Who has taken him? etc. Could be fairly easily turned into a good piece of prose.
    The Lonely Recluse.

    • I write poems, short stories and novels–leaving many details to the reader’s imagination. It considered a bit unorthodox–even unacceptable to editors–but it’s what I do. Glad you enjyed this piece! And, yes, it does have short-story–even novel–potential. I haven’t written a novel for several years. Maybe this is the catalyst?

  16. Heaven said

    So sweet and heartfelt.. thanks for sharing this ~

  17. Love this. A great take on the prompt! You do a great job of developing an anxious tone toward the end and you clinch a great ending with your P.S. comment.

  18. Leo said

    That is brave! You say you aren’t afraid. Maybe a fear is not of death, but for such a loved wife, fear for her safety is there. It is seen in your words in plentiful, Charles! Thanks for sharing such a beauty..!

  19. stay brave,

    thanks for sharing….

  20. Fountains said

    This gave me chills as well. It brought to mind concentration camps and other terrible things that have torn people from one another. Beautiful how he stays brave for her. I hope this poem ends up in a very significant book somewhere.

    • I left the place to the reader’s imagination for a reason. Truth is, this could happen to anyone, anywhere, these days. This world is moving rapidly toward something we never thought it would be. The frightening things we see on our movie screens are terrifying because they might become our reality.
      What an awesome comment–I would hope it winds up somewhere significant, as well! Thank you!

  21. tigerbrite said

    This could be the pitch for your novel ? Sure to draw people in.

    • I agree, this poem would be a great pitch for a novel. You are the second person to mention novel in conjunction with this, and the wheels are starting to turn. And, I have to tell you, once they start to turn, it is virtually impossible to stop them. I’m thinking we already have the title: Dearest Wife: What do you think?
      Look what you’ve done! You got me all fired up! Thanks!

  22. Very nicely done. I believe the last line makes the poem!
    Beautiful…

    • Thank you! I’m glad you like it, and most agree with you on the last line.
      I appreciate the visit and wonderful comments!

  23. Wow – intensely emotional!!!!

    • Thanks! Thinking it might be the catalyst for a novel.
      Appreciate the visit and comments. Love them wows!

  24. I see you considered taking off the last line, so glad you didn’t. I think this may be my favourite piece of yours so far, and beating the others is not an easy task!

    I’m curious as to what the inspiration was for this piece

    • Thanks for the awesome comment/compliment, Leon! Having visited your site, I can understand why this piece is your favorite. I think we are on the same page, but this poem is as near to the subject as I intend to wander on my blog (this blog is for encouragement and entertainment, only), though I am very open and adamant about it in other venues. I did, however, leave a comment on your site.

  25. Well, that was certainly a bit darker than the other poems I’ve read by you. It gives me chills.

    Larry

  26. Dave said

    Creative. I really liked it. Thanks

  27. Pat Cegan said

    Charles, this is absolutely heart stopping. Even the idea of being able to write a last note to someone is a reason to give one pause to think.

    Also interesting it the idea of being totally cut off from all that you know and love. I experienced this when I gave everything I had away and came to Brazil as a volunteer. I could not speak one word of Portuguese, not even to read the signs in the airport to find the one bag I brought. I remember standing there looking at the signs that I could not read and thing, what have I done? Nine years later, I can tell you that I have never regretted my decision to change my life and to serve. On the other hand, I have learned to appreciate many things that I took for granted in the US.

    Your posts always make me stop and really think about what is truly important in life. I thank you for that. Hugs, pat

    • Thank you, Pat. Your comments are always such a blessing to read. I’m glad you enjoy them, and I’m glad they give you pause to think. Bless you, my friend!

  28. I enjoyed this poem.
    It flows nice and clean. It catches your attention to the end.
    It begs the reader to inquire more.

    well done.

  29. Reminds me of The Way Back. Like it 🙂

    • I haven’t seen that movie, but I see it was inspired by the novel “The Long Walk”. I think I’ll get the book if it’s available on Kindle.
      Thanks, David!

  30. A.B. Thomas said

    wow~! this was great, and to think I read the second one first then this, they blend so well!

  31. mbwilliams said

    Words well spoken – perhaps we should all take some time out to say what needs to be said before its too late

    • I believe we should say those words every day, M.B.!
      Thanks for the visit and comment!

  32. I love the format in this piece. The love for his wife simply shines through. A protector to the end. I’m off to the sequel now……..

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