The Story of Rob

February 16, 2013 at 9:08 am · Filed under Mostly fiction, Stories ·Tagged Bible, God, house, Job, loose adaptation, tornado

I knew this guy who was the epitome of what we like to call a good ol’ boy. His name was Rob, and he had a slew of kids; seven boys and three girls. Rob had one of the biggest ranches in central Texas; over seven thousand sheep, three thousand head of cattle, five hundred horses, five hundred female miniature donkeys (go figure), and a historic old farmhouse that had seen better days. Rob was quick to point out that all his good fortune was a blessing from God.

Rob’s sons were pretty good ol’ boys too. Oh, they had a tendency to party, but they’d always invite their sisters.

One time, while Rob was over in Houston at a miniature donkey show, the kids got a little rowdy, and a neighbor called to give Rob a heads-up. Come to find out, the trouble could be traced to a loose cannon by the name of Santana. Seems where this kid went, trouble tagged along.

Rob knew his kids might mess up occasionally, but he was quick to defend them, so Santana decided to put Rob’s confidence in them to the test, and talked them into having another party that weekend. While the party was going full-tilt, all hell come a callin’.

First, somebody run off with all Rob’s cattle and miniature donkeys!

Then! Lightning struck and killed all the sheep!

And! As if that wasn’t enough, somebody stole all the horses!

The kids were reeling from all this, and while they were crying and hugging each other, Santana grabbed

Credit: Richard Baxter

one of their cellular phones and called Rob over in Houston to tell him what was going on. While he was telling Rob the bad news, a tornado came up and lifted the house up into the air! Worst of all, all Rob’s boys were killed when the house came down on them! The girls somehow escaped harm.

Santana was almost smiling (if you ain’t guessed it yet, the boy was pure evil) as he told Rob the final bit of terrible news, but he was surprised when Rob didn’t get mad and blame God for any of the bad stuff.

No sir, Rob told Santana he was sorely upset about it all, and would probably tear his bath robe and shave his head, but then he’d fall down on the ground and worship God for being a good God

Santana couldn’t believe his ears, and was stuttering and stammering when he asked Rob how he could be so calm when all his animals, his sons, and his derned house were gone!

Rob just chuckled and said, “It wasn’t my stuff anyway, it was all God’s—even them boys—and I was nekkid when I got here and I’ll be nekkid when I leave.”

Santana didn’t understand none of that.

 

Copyright © 2013 C Mashburn

To hear this story read by the author (that’d be me) click here –> https://soundcloud.com/#marbles-in-my-pocket/the-story-of-rob

 

Sharing this very loose adaptation of a Bible story on Kellie Elmore’s Free Write Friday. I know it’s Saturday, but she put the prompt up late yesterday, so what’s a feller supposed to do?

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