It’s Friday, and Kellie Elmore finally posted the prompt for this week’s Free Write Friday. She thought maybe we could write something using the following words: lazy – rain – perspective – glint – somber – trinket – static. I gave it a shot.
Somehow Somber
I sat there, shoulders slumped
Body trembling, heart aching
Tears flowing steadily
Like maybe they’d never stop
Small and somehow somber
Moved slowly down the street
Coming toward me
As it passed slowly by
A lazy rain—like a shower turned on real low
Fell softly from its black belly
Sounding like static on a radio
As it hit the hot asphalt
From my current perspective
It was as though someone
Had bumped the dial
On the old Buick’s radio… or my life
Knocking it between stations
I reached up and lightly touched
The trinket hanging by a chain
From the rearview mirror
Then… when the little cloud was past
And the sun came out
The tiny silver cross sparked
A quick glint of dazzling light
As it slowly turned
I miss her so much
Copyright © 2013 C Mashburn
Sherry Mashburn said
Awesome perspective 😉 not the take I was expecting.
charlesmashburn said
I goes where the words takes me.
lenwilliamscarver said
wonderful response to the prompt 😉 third line has a double ‘a’ in steaadily …which only makes you more like me I tend to press quickly and firmly 😉
charlesmashburn said
DOH! Thanks, Len! I’ll git that fixed!
And thanks for the nice comment, too!
Annie (@txstarkeeper) said
OMG Charles … such an awesome poem and such vivid imagery!!! This line I LOVE: A lazy rain—like a shower turned on real low
charlesmashburn said
Thank you very much, Annie! I’m glad you like it!
skywalkerstoryteller said
Really good imagery but such a sad ending.
charlesmashburn said
Life is sad sometimes.
Thanks for the nice comment!
heidibarnes11 said
Beautiful. I felt the emotions from beginning to end, maybe because I have been there, but I think more because of your way with words. 🙂
charlesmashburn said
Thank you for the wonderful comment, Heidi!
pandamoniumcat said
Beautiful Charles, stunning imagery…I loved the fourth stanza, something that happens to us all at times living between stations, lovely take on the prompt. Awesome write! 🙂
I’ve got the words but have yet to put something together…thought I’d take a walk first clear the head!
charlesmashburn said
Thanks, Dianne!
I do that sometimes too–take a walk– to mull the words and lines. I put togther a lot of stories and poems that way.
cynthiabaseman said
evocative…
charlesmashburn said
Thank you for stopping by!
debzywebzy said
How fantastic! I most liked “A lazy rain – like a shower turned on real / low / fell softly from its black belly”. Solid stuff.
charlesmashburn said
Thank you, Debzy! I’m glad you like it!
dorothymcdonall said
Lovely 🙂
charlesmashburn said
Thanks, Dorothy!
neenslewy said
An amazing FWF, powerful. A cinematic journey you took me on. A unravelling poem, much liked. Reminded me of ‘The Bridges of Madison County’ – that mix of hope and despair, love and loss.
This poem will stay with me.
charlesmashburn said
Thank you for the great comment!