Almost Morning

I’ve been on both ends of this candle, and neither was any fun in the end. And, unfortunately these things often lead to the end. It’s definitely no fun loving someone who doesn’t love you back.

Almost Morning

 

It’s almost morning again

I can’t see it, but I feel it

The coldest part of the day

Before the sun begins to work its magic

 

I close my eyes to the darkness

Trying to imagine you’re hereman staring out window

Feeling you, loving you

My chest full of empty longing

 

My mind’s eye scans a pale sky

Searching for the storm clouds

I can feel them gathering again

And yet… the sky is purest blue

 

I wonder when you’ll come home

The torch burning hot, but still I recall

All those nights when you did not

Reliving hours with no end

 

White anger flashes ‘cross my mind

Hot and cold at the same instant

Like lightning in the wintertime

Love mixed with hate… and confusion

 

Headlights on the window

The thump of the car door

Wishing we could start over… go home

But I don’t know where it is

 

Copyright © 2013 C Mashburn

 

Sharing this on dVerse Poets Pub’s Poetics: Idioms, where Kelvin has asked us to use idioms in a poem. I snuck a few into this one, and don’t tell Kelvin, but I wrote it yesterday. I’ve been extremely sidekick this week.

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29 Comments »

  1. a bit sad…not knowing where home is…and waiting up on one you are unsure will even be coming home tonight…the confusion between love and hate…that is real in that situation as well…

    hey congrats on finding your new place as well…smiles.

    • Sad indeed. Most of us have been in this situation, on one side or the other.
      Thanks, Brian.

  2. Wow. I fully relate to this. Thankfully it has passed but how hard it is to live like that. Nice write and good use of idioms. -Mike

    • I think a lot of folks can relate to this one, Mike.
      Thanks for visit and comment!

  3. …love is unconditional… we don’t always get what we want… we are just fortunate enough how we can offer love to someone… though sadly it’s a harsh truth how we can’t force someone to love us back in return… if it returns then we are lucky… if it doesn’t we are blessed for we understand love beyond love… have i been there many times… ha, i’m happy to be patient enough to wait for that one true love i really deserve… smiles… thanks for sharing this sir… smiles…

  4. Mary said

    It is better if both put their cards on the table so that neither is forced to read between the lines. One should not promise love if one is still sowing one’s wild oats, I don’t think. Sad when the one who really loves has to eventually throw in the towel and go through a period of being under the weather for weeks after, trying to get a grip. Hard not to wear one’s heart on one’s sleeve!

    • I agree, Mary. Communication is the key. Unfortunately, I spent much of my life either not knowing that, or ignoring it.

  5. Miriam E. said

    such sadness in this, but also i still see purpose. i hope you will feel at ‘home’ again soon…
    great write,

  6. Truedessa said

    The workings of love and the heart..I think you captured it in this piece..filled with some sadness and longing.

  7. Sherry Mashburn said

    Powerful and full of longing, Charlie.

  8. LaTonya said

    Oh, the last line.

  9. Yep been there too. The action of waiting for that person’s return home in hopes that things will have gotten better in their absence only to realize that their arrival serves as a reminder of the brokenness.

  10. Those relationships are destructive…I would rather live alone than go through all that again.You took me back to a place I would rather forget. Well expressed though.

  11. ds said

    Sad but lovely. Like the lightning in the wintertime. Thank you.

  12. Shanique said

    It’s a hard feeling wanting what you can’t have and yet unable to give it up. I’ve been there as have most of us. Wonderful poem.

  13. Home is where the heart is? This was heavy and sad and I think there are many people who are there, have been there, or who may someday wind up there. :-/ Even when the head knows better, the heart can be a stubborn thing. Well-written, and it seems to be so at odds with the lovely, colored marbles of your blog, perhaps calling even more attention to the serious nature of the poem.

    • I sometimes write in the first person when the poem isn’t about me. Some things I write are drawn form the past, and some are pure fiction.
      Thanks for the great comment

  14. Akila said

    sad and painful moments not knowing what next tend to be the longest. well put!

  15. Reblogged this on Marbles In My Pocket ~ The Official Blog of Charles L. Mashburn ~ Poems, Short Stories, and random thoughts from the author of "Be Still… and know that I am God" and commented:

    Sometimes, I come across poems and stories I’ve written, and I don’t remember writing them. And once in a while, I read one and think, “Hey! That’s not too shabby for an old hack.

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