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Get it Together!

Ducks In A Row

ducks

Get your ducks in a row, the boss yelled

You best get your stuff in one sack

Get your act together, he screamed

Or tomorrow we won’t need you back

 

Well, I had no idea what he meant

So I started to pace and fret

I don’t own any ducks, I thought

My predicament caused me to sweat

 

Noon came around and away I flew

Drove fast to the nearest mall

Purchased a book of duck tricks

And a quite expensive duck call

 

Raced out of town to the lake

Used the duck call that cost twenty bucks

Was worth it, for out of the reeds

Came a waddling, six little ducks

 

I’m quacking up, I thought to myself

For there wasn’t another soul there

I got out the book of duck tricks

And a duck act I began to prepare

 

I tried everything in the trick book

But them ducks seemed none too bright

Then the answer came suddenly to me

Above my head shone a bulb of light

 

5_Little_Ducks_Logo__12339.1439298427.328.245Drove back to the office post haste

The monkey was near off my back

Told the boss, they’re not in a row, but

Would you settle for five ducks in a sack

 

Copyright © 1998 C. Mashburn

Pictures borrowed from Google Images

 

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First Kiss

a first kissOne of my favorite childhood games was spin the bottle. I was petrified every time we played it, but I still loved it! I’m not sure my first kiss was from Lisa, but it’s the memory of that spinning bottle, and the fear coursing through my young brain and body this little ditty is about. The names, the faces, the places… pick your own, and go back when. That’s what I did. Enjoy!

Forever Changed

Bottle spinning, is but a blur

There on the basement floor

All eyes upon it as it slows

Not knowing what’s in store

 

Was Lisa who set it to spinning

Young goddess with golden hair

Every boy prays, let it stop on me

So a kiss with her I might share

 

Slower still the pop bottle spins

A last taunting turn then points

My eyes grow wide, I can’t move

Fear has frozen my young joints

 

Panic takes over my mind then

I’m horrified down to my core

Why am I here, what will I do

I’ve never kissed a girl before

 

From the circle I jump and shout

No way, I just can’t do it

Lisa gives a wink that says

Calm down, boy, I’ll get you through it

 

Young lips meet mine a trembling

My life then forever is changed

Fate’s hand upon the bottle spun

My world at once rearranged

 

Copyright © 1998 C. Mashburn

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Family Reunion

boy and watermelonWe’re in north central Alabama this morning to attend a Henderson family reunion. My paternal grandmother was a Henderson, and I vaguely remember attending the reunion when I was six or seven years old. The main reason I remember it is we stopped somewhere on our way from Texas and bought a huge watermelon. Dad said it weighed fifty pounds, but he was always pulling my leg, so… who knows? He put it on the floor right in front of me—I loved watermelon—and I rode the rest of the way with my feet on the gigantic melon and a grin just as big on my skinny little face.

I wonder if folks will remember me if I walk in carrying a fifty pound watermelon? Well… the fact is, I’m not a skinny little boy anymore, and they might think I have a fifty pound watermelon under my shirt!

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Cousins

And, here it is, the real deal hanging in our new living room! And, it’s only fitting that the smaller pictures to the right of the clock are of Ma and Pa, my maternal grandparents. They were a huge part of our lives when we were young.

This painting, “Joy Ride”, by David Uhl—brother to our precious friend, Paula (Polly) Uhl Snyder, spoke to me the moment I saw it.

Joy Ride by David Uhl 1

Memories of my childhood with my cousins roared to life in my mind, especially some of those with my best friend/cousin, Eddy Madden. The joy we shared—all my cousins—as one big family when we were growing up is etched in my memory and never fails to make me smile—and often laugh—when I recall the times we spent together. How lucky were we to grow up in a simple time where simple things—just being together—could live in our minds and hearts forever.

Joy Ride by David Uhl

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Beside Myself

About four summers ago, I was driving through the small east Texas burg of Trinity in my old pickup when I suddenly found myself beside myself—in an odd sort of way. A carload of teenage boys had slid to a halt in the lane to my left, and it didn’t take me but a second to realize I was to be their entertainment til the light changed. Read the rest of this entry »

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Studies Show

romperI’m writing a piece for my blog entitled, “Studies Show”, and I’d like to include a study of my own in the article. Please answer the poll question below with either A, B, C, or D. DO NOT include a comment with your answer and do not add a comment other than your answer. If a comment is included other than A,B,C, or D, the comment will be deleted and counted as D.

Question: Which of the following would likely result in a physical fight?

  1. A white male in his early fifties walks into a bar full of liberals and shouts, “Obama was the worst president EVER!”
  2. A white male in his early fifties walks into a bar full of conservatives and shouts, “Trump is the worst president EVER!”
  3. A white male in his early fifties wearing a romper and his hair done in a man-bun walks into a bar full of bikers and doesn’t say a word.
  4. None of the above

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It Was Bound To Happen!

This is a true story. It happened in the summer of 1998 when Sherry and I lived in Pflugerville. It was a dawning of the ages, I suspect. I hope it brings a smile to your face; it does mine, every time I read it.

The Grouchy Old Man

 Was not long ago this happenin’ happent

On a Saturday as I best recall

Out the window I saw some kids in a tree

And thought, what if they should fall Read the rest of this entry »

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