Posts Tagged beer

She’s Got My Number

I had this procedure once—all men know the procedure I’m referring to—and as I was sitting on the bed, attempting to regain my senses—not to mention my dignity—the nurse came bouncing in (don’t you just hate it when they bounce in?) and gave me a list of things I could NOT do. My eyes bugged out when I came to the last thing on the list; No Alcoholic Beverages.

“Not even ONE beer?”

She grinned, shrugged. “Oh, ONE beer would probably be okay.”

“Could you put that in writing?”

Still grinning, she jotted it on a pad, tore off the page, handed it to me, then left the room, chuckling. I examined it;

one-beer

Using the pen on the bedside table, I made a minor adjustment then put the note in my shirt pocket.

On the way home I said, “You mind stopping at the store, so I can get a six-pack.

“You’re not supposed to drink today.”

I held the note up. “That’s not what the nurse said.”

She shot me “the look”; you know… the one that says, “I trust you and believe everything you say, dear.

At the next red light, she said, “Let me see it.”

She looked at it, handed it back to me. “Nice try, Charlie.”

one beer 2

Leave a Comment

Honish Ossiffer, I Ain’ Den Brinkin’

Okay, two beers; I had two beers about three hours ago. What twelve pack? Empty cans in the back of my truck? Oh, you think this is my truck? You’re probably about to go off duty, ain’t ya? Do you really want to mess with all the paperwork this is gonna involve? Read the rest of this entry »

Comments (1)

Redneck Economics

The guy turned his head slowly, stared at Jaybird with one eye closed and the other one narrowed to a slit. The expression on his face was one that imparted the idea that he was trying to decide if he should fight Jaybird, or leave him alone because he was just plain stupid. Read the rest of this entry »

Comments (2)

I Quit! No! Wait!

In an earlier post today (They Got Everything Allsups) I mentioned I used to use Copenhagen tobacco; you know, a little pinch between your cheek and gum; that stuff. I never smoked, due to the fact I had asthma when I was young, and on my first attempt, I thought the old man’s Salems were gonna kill me. Me and smoking were not to be. Read the rest of this entry »

Comments (3)

They Got Everything Allsups

I lived in New Mexico for a few years, and it seemed Allsup’s convenience stores were the most popular there. There was one on virtually every corner. The typical convenience store; you could buy almost everything you needed there, it just cost you a bit more than the same item would cost at a grocery store. Read the rest of this entry »

Comments (1)

Honish Ossiffer, I Ain’ Den Brinkin’

Okay, two beers; I had two beers about three hours ago. What twelve pack? Empty cans in the back of my truck? Oh, you think this is my truck? Read the rest of this entry »

Comments (2)

Redneck Economics

The guy turned his head slowly, stared at Jaybird with one eye closed and the other one narrowed to a slit. The expression on his face was one that imparted the idea that he was trying to decide if he should fight Jaybird, or leave him alone, because he was just plain stupid. Read the rest of this entry »

Comments (1)