Posts Tagged door to door salesman

Strike Three!

door to doorIs there such a thing as a door-to-door salesman these days? Probably not, since we can buy virtually anything and everything on the Internet.

I had an encounter with one back when I was barely old enough to claim adult status, but already had two boys of my own. One afternoon, I answered a knock on the front door, and found a guy standing on the porch, the screen door between us, who might as well have been wearing a sign that read, “Salesman”, on his chest. Suit, tie, hat, sample case, and a big phony smile.

“Good afternoon, sir,” he said. Strike one. He was thirty-something, and I was twenty. Don’t call me sir.

“Do you have kids?” he asked, smiling.

I looked over his shoulder at the toys in the front yard and made no reply.

“Do you have any portraits of them?” Smile widening.

One of my eyebrows arched. Strike two. Don’t go there.

“Well, then I have a deal for…” I cut him off.

“Not interested.”

“But,” he said, “I guarantee you…”

“Not! Interested!”

The smile faltered, and he said, “Oh… so you don’t love your kids?” Strike three!

I kicked the screen door open, and to my amazement, he was halfway across the yard before I stepped onto the porch. The dude was fast! By the time I got to the curb, his tires were spitting gravel as he sped away.

My neighbor across the street came out his front door, watched the car slide around the corner, then looked at me and grinned. “I see you don’t love your kids either,” he said.


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