Black Words

This is something brand new for me; it’s called imagism. I usually don’t enter into these things I know nothing about, but… I really know nothing about poetry, yet I do it—I think. Posting this to dVerse, and wondering what will become of it. We shall see!

Black words

 

Black words

Cruel

White page

Filled

 

Crimson river

Blood

White dress

Stained

 

Last breath

Sigh

Wide open

Eyes

 

Copyright © 2012 C. Mashburn

50 Comments »

  1. viv blake said

    That is stunning.

  2. zongrik said

    very sad

  3. Raivenne said

    Three distinct but amazingly vivid images there Charles. The enormity of that last stanza, made all the more powerful when broken down so succinctly.

  4. “Black words

    Cruel

    White page

    Filled”

    I like to think words are what we make of them and how we take them. Hopefully never too cruel when aimed at you!! Interesting imagery, I enjoyed reading this, Charles.

  5. Very nice, contrast in both mood and colour and yet it all blended in well to make the ‘whole.’ I’m like you I am not disciplined in how to write ‘proper’ poetry or prose. I think if I was to study the rules it would inhibit my thought process, really.
    Lovely piece from you.

  6. Vivid with a touch of vague enough to keep me guessing.

  7. Very apt use of the manifesto. Natural words in pattern, vivid, sensational, and effective. Carlos Williams and Pound would definitely approve! Well done.

    • Well, Gay, I don’t know who those guys are, but I’m glad you like it, and think they would approve.
      Thank you very much for the wonderful comment!

  8. Excellent, few words – big images. Well done

  9. brian said

    nice…the first two stanzas def evoke a wide array of emotion and the last wraps this well in a bow…very nice charles…

  10. Very strong images in these snapshots!

    • Snapshots; very good way to describe this.
      Thanks for the visit and nice comment, Dianne!

  11. claudia said

    wow… you managed to paint a big picture by using almost no color.. purism at its best

  12. yoga-adan said

    nicely done! that sigh at the end made me shiver, thanks!

    • Thank you very much, Adan! I appreciate your visit and comment, and I’m glad you like the poem!

  13. ManicDdaily said

    Very succinct and yet certainly creates picture and trail. You are very good at story-telling in poems, and stories that speak to people. K.

    PS thanks so much for getting the book. I really appreciate it. K.

    • You are welcome, and thank you for the wonderful comment! I’m glad you enjoy the things I write!

  14. Ravenblack said

    Minimal words but convey a lot of strong feelings.The middle clues of something particularly alarming. The end seems to be one of shock frozen at end. Intriguing.

  15. Not sure if the images are supposed to all be connected, but it seemed to me the story was: girl gets angry break-up letter, pulls an Ophelia.

    • Bravo! You nailed it! I am impressed!
      Thanks for the visit and “right-on” comment!

  16. Raven said

    My mouth dropped wide open when I read this. It truly is amazing what can be done with so few words! Loved it!

  17. Charles, I so enjoy your work! Thank you for sharing with me and taking the time to read my work.

    • You are very welcome, Sherrie! I am truly fascinated with the things you write. You have tremendous insight and a wonderful way with words!
      Thank you for the visits and comments!

  18. Oh my – this took my breath away. The saying that “More is Less” certainly rings true in this piece of yours. It packs a punch with vivid images carefully and cleverly set in motion. What a great piece of writing!

  19. Charles, one would think you were one of the founders of the imagist movement. This is just brilliant, and a bit chilling as well.

  20. Shawna said

    I don’t want to hear any more of this garbage about you not being a poet. That is absurd. This is one of the best I’ve read today. I love chilling, biting poetry.

    • You leave me no choice but to say, “ah’ight den.”
      Thanks, Shawna! I appreciate your wonderful comments!

  21. David King said

    Imagism is a Catholic assortment of treatments. I’m sure Ezra Pound would have accepted that this fits the bill, but whether it does or not, what matters, it’s a powerful and compelling piece of poetry. I found it wonderfully exciting. For something apparently so simple and spare – and actually very layered – it threw out echoes and ripples that I have not got the end of yet. Superb.

    • Wow! Thanks, David! I appreciate the wonderful comments! I am amazed at the attention this poem has received. I literally just saw the prompt and thought I’d give it a shot. After reading so many good critiques on it, I gave it a good thinking about, and realized that my poetic style leans strongly toward imagism. I create poetry with a vision in my mind of what the scene looks like then try to draw it with words, so the reader can see it, too.
      Thanks again! Your comments encourage me tremendously!

  22. dottylizzy said

    So powerful, vivid, paints a picture, leaves an impression. Brilliant!

  23. lolamouse said

    Hard hitting and sad. Like a punch in the stomach (but in a good way!)

    • I don’t think I’ve ever had one of those punches in the stomach in the good way!
      Thanks for the visit and comment, Lola!

  24. Very mesmerizing!! Few words indeed say a lot…great words!

  25. Very few words used but each one packs a powerful punch.

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