She told me it was okay
To not be okay
And so
I told her things I’d told no one
She listened
She spoke softly
Saying only good things
With compassion that was real
When the conversation was over
She said she was always there
I could talk to her any time
I hardly know her
So, I asked her why…
Why would she want to talk to me
She said
Because you need someone to talk to
This…
People who care
This… is how God
Can be everywhere
Copyright © C Mashburn 2019
Copyright © Charles Mashburn 2019
Photo by Stephanie Klein
I have heard them
Sometimes in a word—just one
Sometimes in a conversation—a long one
I have seen them
Sometimes for a moment—a smile
Sometimes for a season—or many years
Sometimes from a distance
With only a picture
Or with words on a screen
They have touched me
Always there
Always watching
Sometimes carrying me
Sometimes simply being there
And sometimes…
Oh, yes…
Sometimes…
I have felt them…
Seen them…
In the eyes of a mere mortal
As my tortured soul was soothed
By kind eyes
Copyright © C Mashburn 2019
I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it from me. But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:7-9
Some forty years ago, I was on Interstate 5, driving south past Mount Hood, as a full moon rose above it. I was looking out the driver’s-side window at the spectacle, when I hit a patch of black ice and started spinning. Miraculously, I went full circle and was facing forward when I reached the end of the ice.
That story pretty much parallels the events of the recent weeks for me and Sherry. On that morning, forty days ago, we were enjoying a morning in our peaceful, comfortable home. All was well and life was good. Then, in a matter of minutes, we found our lives spinning wildly out of control. We’re still in the spin, but we’re not afraid. The worst is behind us and we know at some point things will be back to the way they were. We will have changed—our lives will have changed—but we’ll be okay. In fact, we like to think we’ll come out of this spin better off than we were when we went into it. We will press on.
I press on toward the goal for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:14
A timely message for many.
I say I’m fearless and strong, and I try to encourage others to be fearless and strong, too. But when someone I love is hurting—whether it is spiritually, mentally, physically, or a combination of any/all of those—it’s hard for me to tell them to be fearless and strong. I often wish I could take their pain upon myself, but then I wonder if I could even handle it.
Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need. Hebrews 4:16
My friend, Diana Preston, recently used the phrase “new normal” regarding life after her battle with cancer and life after my wife, Sherry’s, recent medical emergency. I didn’t like it. Another friend used it a few days later, then Diana said it again in a comment to one of my posts about Sherry’s road to recovery. The post is entitled, “The Same Thing… Only Different.” HA! Imagine my surprise when it hit me that “the new normal” was indeed, the same thing only different. The following is Diana’s comment, and my response:
Diana said
February 2, 2019 @ 8:33 am · Edit
I have a new normal after cancer. I think it’s true you can’t totally go back … as a person is changed after such an event…. As life is even more priceless… I have become more thankful…
charlesmashburn said
February 2, 2019 @ 8:47 am · Edit
I agree, Diana. Things like cancer and traumatic events change us–sometimes in an instant–and our lives will sometimes be altered forever. But I also believe the new normal can be an even better normal than the previous one. An example being your words, “I have become more thankful.” Sometimes the calamities of life bring us to a fuller appreciation of it, and we’re able to focus on our blessings. I’ve also learned that when we are on the outside watching our loved ones go through these things, we too are changed. We learn to appreciate the blessings of the friends and family we’ve been given to share our lives with, and we see them as the precious and valuable gifts they are.
~~~~~~~~
Sherry is sitting in her chair, drinking coffee and reading her book. It’s 6:13 A.M., almost the exact same time it was 30 days ago. On that day, however, things were not to remain the same, and the events of that morning not so long ago, yet it seems a lifetime, changed everything, and I often wonder if life will ever be the same again. If you haven’t already, you can read a detailed description of what happened on January 2, 2019 in my blog post entitled, “The World Stopped Turning”. (<– click on the title to read the post.)
To date, Sherry’s recovery from what they diagnosed as a hemorrhagic stroke, which lead to emergency brain surgery, seems nothing short of miraculous to me. She has only minor motor skill issues with her left hand, and other than being tired, and weak, she’s experiencing very few problems. She gets around the house without using a walker they sent home with her from rehab and can shower and handle other necessary things on her own. This, after only 14 days in a medical rehabilitation facility.
She began at-home rehab this week, and the therapists and medical personnel are impressed with her rapid recovery. Their optimism regarding her recovery varies only in how long it will take for her to be at 100%. But… are any of us, speaking of the over 65 crowd, ever consistently at 100%? I tink not!
And so, we move forward, taking the professional optimism with a grain of salt but relying on God’s healing powers, fueled by the powerful prayers of more friends than can possibly be named. Things are indeed different now, and they might remain so for quite some time. But at some point, we believe and hope you believe with us, Sherry will not only be as good as she was before, but better. (I know, I know… how can she be better than the wonderful person we all love?)
“It can’t always be glorious, it can’t always be spring,” Those are the finishing lines of my poem, “The Sun Came Up Again”. The poem is about love, and yes, love can be trying, at least to us mere mortals it can, but if it’s true, as God love is true, it is always there. Thank you for being there.
(click on the title to read the poem)
There will always be good and bad in our lives and in the world we live in, and it’s okay to feel the pain and sadness when it comes, but we can’t hold onto the bad stuff; we have to let it go and move on. I know, it’s a lot easier to say than it is to do, but we have to remember the sun will come up each day and spring will come each year; we know that and we have to know too, there is much to be thankful for, even in the midst of pain or sadness. Feel the pain–wallow in it, if you must–but then, get up and move on. Look at the good things, and leave the past in the past. If we’re too busy being sad about yesterday, or worrying about tomorrow, we won’t have time to enjoy today.
The sun came up again 
Across the street
In the neighbor’s yard
Through early budding tree limbs
The sky glowed fiery red
Then golden
Then dazzling white
As another day began
A slash of light
Fell ‘cross my arms as I wrote
The thought crossed my mind
That I’d said too much
Heard too much
And it had changed things
I wondered
If they had changed for the better
I hoped so
I’ve changed things before
By being too open
Too honest
I’ve watched the sun come up
Regretting words I’d spoken
The day before
You would think I’d learn
I have learned
I’ve learned
That the sun will come up
Sometimes you will see it
And feel it
Sometimes you won’t
But it’s there
Love is like that
At times you can bask in its warmth
And feel its arms wrapped around you
A flash of it will lay across your heart
Then at other times
It falls silent
And cool
It’s still there
Just not as obvious
You have to know it’s there
Never doubt it
Never turn away
Just know that behind the cloud
Behind the mountain
Behind whatever has made the warm glow fade
It is there
You have to let it be there
You have to want it to be there
It can’t always be glorious
It can’t always be spring
Copyright © 1998 C Mashburn
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Marbles In My Pocket ~ The Official Blog of Charles L. Mashburn ~ Poems, Short Stories, and random thoughts from the author of "Be Still... and know that I am God" 