I thought I’d offer up something on the lighter side this week. The following poem is a work of fiction–sort of. It is all too real in concept for most guys who have ever stood on the porch and rang the bell for their first date. Most of us lived some form of this frightening-at-the-time, but funny-when-it-was-over situation. I hope you enjoy it!
The Beast
On the stoop, corsage in hand
I stand, feeling quite confounded
Mind and feet conspire to run
Too late, for the bell I’ve sounded
Doors swings open, a giant
Glares from behind the screen
Beer in one hand, gun in the other
A visage, angry and mean
Mouth zaps dry, knee joints weaken
I ask is young Sherry there
A growl from deep within the beast
“Yeah… she’s fixin’ her hair”
Suddenly, she’s there beside him
A vision with sparkling eyes
My strength returns, I look back at him
And find to my great surprise
The beverage gone, the pistol, too
A handsome man smiles back at me
Opens the door, says, “Have fun, kids
Drive safe, and late don’t be”
I escort my vision of loveliness
To the chariot I’ve left by the gate
Thankful the worst is over
On this, my very first date
Copyright © 1998 C. Mashburn
Posted in Promising Poets Parking Lot’s Thursday Poets’ Rally Week 57
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Marbles In My Pocket ~ The Official Blog of Charles L. Mashburn ~ Poems, Short Stories, and random thoughts from the author of "Be Still... and know that I am God" 
The Orange Tree said
I escort my vision of loveliness
To the chariot I’ve left by the gate
Thankful the worst is over
On this, my very first date
fiction, yet revealing, stunning imagery, thanks for sharing.
Happy Rally.
charlesmashburn said
Thank you for the wonderful comment!
becca givens said
Love it ~~ first dates can be very scary … but “you” endured through the courage of ringing the bell … and rewarded with escorting my vision of loveliness
charlesmashburn said
Thank you, Becca! I appreciate the visit and comments!
Daydreamertoo said
Haha… I bet it does seem that daunting for some youngsters on their first date too. A lovely tale, well told , thanks for the smile:)
charlesmashburn said
I can remember some where it felt very similar to this! Thanks for the visit and comments, Daydreamer!
shoelessboywonder said
Well I’ve been there myself a few years back so i understand where this whole tail is coming from. You did well to describe the contrast between fear of an imagination running and the actualization of reality. good work.
charlesmashburn said
Yep! There were times where it seemed a beast had, indeed, answered the door! Thanks for the comments!
poetryroad said
This is truly charming! A fresh look at the first date!
charlesmashburn said
Thank you very much! Your comments are appreciated!
Sherry Mashburn said
AW! So sweet and funny . . .
charlesmashburn said
That’s what I’m talkin bout!
tinkwelborn said
ha ha …very first date…. would’ve scared me off forevermore.
great rhythm and rhyme, and the story is humorous.
I laugh…still chuckling.
thanks for sharing.
charlesmashburn said
Glad you liked it, Tink! Thanks for the great comments!
disjointedrhymings said
I love it 🙂 Beautifully written and not just dates! Even regular guy friends can feel they’re facing that at times.
charlesmashburn said
Thank you very much! And, you are correct!
William Leed said
Quite delightful. Good emotion.
William
charlesmashburn said
Thank you very much, William!
Andy said
Hello.
lol..it’s funny how so much of this is actually true. Brings back memories of the 1001 questions like how old are you, what do you do, do you have any kids, who’s your dentist…lol
Nicely portrayed Charles.
Thanks for sharing & visiting. Your comment was lovely. Much appreciated.
Daydreaming
charlesmashburn said
Thanks, Andy! I thought you’d like this one.
Charlie Parant said
Very well captured emotions as many of us can remember. I also remember a few years back as my daughter was growing up and I got to be the beast.
charlesmashburn said
Haha! I never got to be the beast. Thanks for the comments!
Jo Bryant said
I think you captured perfectly the moment – and we have all had those types of moments.
🙂
charlesmashburn said
Thanks, Jo! Your comments are appreciated!
danroberson said
The beauty and the beast…a different version. Being the beast is such fun.
“Go on and have your fun, while I just sit here cleaning my gun.”
“Have that questionaire filled out, yes, all two hundred questions. I know they’re essay questions. Just knock yourself out doing the best you can. Yeah, that pager is important. Answer within five minutes so me and the boys don’t have to go looking for you. I don’t care if you are going to church. Just get her back early and nobody gets hurt. Oh, her Aunt will be riding with you, being it’s a first date. She’ll be talking all the time so you won’t be bored. Have fun!
charlesmashburn said
I didn’t think of it from the “beauty and the beast” perspective!
Awesome comments, Dan!
wordcoaster said
Oh man, the doorbell triggers those few seconds of terror when all of your pre-planned conversations fly out of your mind. You just have to face looking like an idiot sometimes 😛
charlesmashburn said
Or, you stand there trying to look cool, and he lets you know you are absolutely not cool… with nothing but a grin.
Alcina said
Ah! Simply beautiful
I like your first date 🙂
Alcina-In need of me-2
charlesmashburn said
Thank you for the comment, Alcina!
meethimirchi said
indeed a lovely 🙂 we all have that nervousness on first date 🙂 and meeting parents on first date i can imagine 🙂
charlesmashburn said
Thank you for the visit and comments!
terri0729 said
LOL! Great, marvelous, funny poem! Loved it Charlie. Was Sherry’s dad really that scary? Mine could be with his deep growly voice – big teddy bear 🙂 Peace, love and blessings, Terri
charlesmashburn said
Thank you, Terri! I wouldn’t know; Sherry and I met in our forties. I can imagine he might have been though. Much like your dad, James King could be intimidating, but he was a big ol’ lovable teddy bear.
The Noiseless Cuckooclock said
passinate humor.
well fine tuned writing.
charlesmashburn said
Thank you for the nice comment!
Classic NYer said
Awwww! This is so sweet and adorable!
Yeah, I guess everyone’s father is scary the first time you meet him, huh?
charlesmashburn said
Thanks, NYer! When you’re 16, they are!
Jennifaye said
Sweet and lovely. This poem made me smile 🙂
charlesmashburn said
I’m glad I could make you smile! Thanks for the visit and comments, Jennifer!
jmdh said
I remember my 1st one, I recon I was bout 3 or 4 . It had to be my mom cuz every where she went I got to go with her !
charlesmashburn said
That’s crazy talk, Dale!
Emma said
he he…you’ve captured it precisely…it’s funny how we interpret those moments when we are younger…your rhyme scheme works nicely to add to the light-heartedness of the piece…enjoyed this 🙂
charlesmashburn said
Thank you very much, Emma!
Annette said
That is what it feels like, isn’t it!
charlesmashburn said
Pretty much!
Thanks for the comment, Annette!
Old Raven said
Young man … you never cease to amaze! With delight.
charlesmashburn said
Thank you very much! What wonderful comments!
dsnake1 said
there’s nothing like a charming story to cheer me up after a bad day in the office. 🙂
i love the rhyme scheme. brilliant!
charlesmashburn said
Thanks for the great comments! I’m glad I could cheer you up!
Purvi said
The end was such a surprise.. really engrossing words!
charlesmashburn said
Thank you very much!
Reilley said
This brought back some memories, well done!
charlesmashburn said
Thanks, Reilley! I appreciate the visit and comment!
voiceoftruelove said
I like this and enjoyed reading it. It’s witty but can relate to someone’s real experience. I wonder if in fear the young man imagined the gun and beer, or the father did have the gun and beer( as a warning), but put it way after his daughter showed up.
charlesmashburn said
It’s strictly meant to be a figment of the young lad’s imagination, due to his nervousness. I suppose there are dad’s that would answer the door like that. Just to frighten the kid!
Thanks for the comment!
marit said
charming! helps me understand what it’s like 🙂
charlesmashburn said
Thanks for the visit and comment, Marit!
magher1 said
Playful words! Feels so innocent as the first love 🙂
charlesmashburn said
Thank you very much for the nice comment!
Sherrie Theriault said
This is why I tried to spare my dates the burden of meeting my father…..because on second look he is worse than on the first.
Love your work!
charlesmashburn said
That must have made you very popular!
Thanks for the comments, Sherrie!
And, as you know, I am a very big fan of your work!
Miss Kitten said
Fantastic, Charles! I loved the image of the father greeting his daughter’s date at the door with a shotgun. Now I have an idea of what it must be like to be on the other side of the door.
Here’s my rally piece this week:
charlesmashburn said
It can be quite terrifying for a young lad!
Thanks for the visit and comments, Miss Kitten!
Heaven said
I enjoyed the humor and sentimental words…what a memorable first date ~
charlesmashburn said
Thank you very much, Heaven!
Julie Laing said
Fabulous stuff–I love the light side of your work! Thanks for sharing this one for the rally–and for your feedback and good wishes on my post and upcoming reading.
charlesmashburn said
Thank you very much, Julie!
Judith C Evans said
This a sweet poem that can be so true! Glad you stopped by my blog!
charlesmashburn said
Thank you very much for the visit and nice comment, Judith!
Kay Salady said
This is lovely Charles! As I reminisce, I can recall my Daddy calling one of my dates a walrus, due to the fact that he wore a handlebar mustache.
charlesmashburn said
I think my first dates’ dad probably had colorful names for me. I know walrus wasn’t among them though, because I was skinny as a raail and couldn’t grow a moustached until I was in my twenties!
Thanks for the visit and comment, Kay!
Sharp Little Pencil said
Charles, having gone through all of high school dateless, I can nonetheless catch that first impression, reflecting your nervousness. Ah, the terror of those teen years! Loved this write, and found you via your link at Cello Strings. Have read you before, and this is just wonderful! Amy Barlow Liberatore
http://sharplittlepencil.wordpress.com/2011/11/29/living-love-for-kate/
charlesmashburn said
I’m glad you enjoyed this one, Amy! I hope you will visit and read again!
saya said
Amazing and funny.. I haven’t yet experienced the first date. After reading those lines now will curiously wait for my first date..
Beautifully carved..
Thanks for d visit 🙂
charlesmashburn said
Thank you very much, Saya!
CC Champagne said
This makes me want to cry for the beauty of young love! I love how you’ve told it almost as if it were a fairytale of old. Bravo, Charles!!! Love it!
charlesmashburn said
Thank you very much for the comments, CC!
moonscribbles said
oh this is sweet and fun…you were able to capture the excitement and anticipation of a first date so well……thanks for sharing
charlesmashburn said
Thank you for the great comment!
rosie@travel-i-tales said
Great fun reading about your first date. Wonder what’s the lady’s point of view would be…
Rosie
charlesmashburn said
Thank you, Rosie. I appreciate the comments!
Renee Espriu said
I like how it got me going and then in the end…what a twist and a turn! How the imagination can take us for a ride. Nice write!
charlesmashburn said
My imagination takes me on some wild rides, that’s for sure! Thank you for the visit and comment!