Posts Tagged humor

Do-lang, Do-lang, Do-lang

The eighth grade dance! It was without a doubt an event every young boy awaited with a gut-twisting eager dread.

I grew up in the little town of Buckeye, Arizona, and by the time my pals and I reached the eighth grade we knew we liked girls, but weren’t sure why, or what we should do about it. Read the rest of this entry »

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Let’s Face It

The world has changed a bit. Some things have changed for the good, and some for the not so good. It’s always been that way; a steady moving on kind of thing that occasionally slows, but never stops. You can’t stop progress, ya know. Read the rest of this entry »

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I Believe He Can Fly!

Remember that guy with the Handicap Parking sticker; my no-toes new neighbor with the attitude? Well, turns out he’s not only quick, but for a toe-less dude he can run pretty fast too! I had an opportunity to see him in action a couple days ago. Read the rest of this entry »

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Handicap Parking

My old pal, Blue, inspired this story. He was complaining about people who ride motorized shopping carts at the grocery store and it reminded me of this little set-to I had with my neighbor last summer. Of course, I got carried away with the embellishment part of the tale, and it got longer than I intended. My apologies for that. Read the rest of this entry »

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The Shoe Whisperer

This will sound strange—especially coming from me—but when does weird cross the line?

A few years back, I was walking the dog, minding my own business, and here comes this kid walking down the sidewalk toward me… pulling a shoe. Read the rest of this entry »

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Today Day!

By the powers not likely to be vested in me, I hereby declare this to be Today Day. Today will be dedicated and set Today 6-10-2016 quoteaside to observe and celebrate the singular fact that Today is unlike any other day preceding it, or to come, and thus should receive special recognition and honor. Read the rest of this entry »

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Sudden Death!

There were times I literally lived in fear of my dad. At the time, it wasn’t fun, and it darn sure wasn’t funny, but now, looking back, some of the things that took place were a bit humorous in a terrifying sort of way. This is one of them: Read the rest of this entry »

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Please… Help If You Can

They give it a name—preferably, one that has a cool sounding acronym—and, BAM, it’s a disease and they have a pill and/or treatment for it. Both are usually quite expensive, but, hey, you’ve got health insurance, right? If you don’t have health insurance, the IRS (<— coolest acronym ever, right?) would like to talk to you.

That said, I saw one—a disease I’d never heard of–this morning, which led me to announcing one of my own. I’m not going to tell you what the one I saw was (Holy cow! Did you know “was” spelled backward is “saw”?), because sure-as-shootin’, you, a friend, or a relative—maybe just somebody you know—will “think” they have it, and chastise me ear tuck quote 2for making light of your/their malady.

Anyway, the one I’ve invented (I think most of them are invented), and diagnosed my wife, Sherry as having it, is AHS (I checked, that one is not currently being used by Big Pharma). Yes, I am sad to inform you, she is suffering (I do NOT use that word lightly) from Annoying Husband Syndrome.

I’ll be setting up one of those donation site thingy’s later today. Please… help if you can.

 

 

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Get Your Ducks In A Row!

This post needs no introduction or explanation, or, perhaps, it needs quite a lot of one or the other. I’ll let you decide.

Ducks In A Row

 

Get your ducks in a row, the boss yelled

You best get your stuff in one sack

Get your act together, he screamed

Or tomorrow we won’t need you back

  Read the rest of this entry »

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She’s Got My Number

I had this procedure once—all men know the procedure I’m referring to—and as I was sitting on the bed, attempting to regain my senses—not to mention my dignity—the nurse came bouncing in (don’t you just hate it when they bounce in?) and gave me a list of things I could NOT do. My eyes bugged out when I came to the last thing on the list; No Alcoholic Beverages.

“Not even ONE beer?”

She grinned, shrugged. “Oh, ONE beer would probably be okay.”

“Could you put that in writing?”

Still grinning, she jotted it on a pad, tore off the page, handed it to me, then left the room, chuckling. I examined it;

one-beer

Using the pen on the bedside table, I made a minor adjustment then put the note in my shirt pocket.

On the way home I said, “You mind stopping at the store, so I can get a six-pack.

“You’re not supposed to drink today.”

I held the note up. “That’s not what the nurse said.”

She shot me “the look”; you know… the one that says, “I trust you and believe everything you say, dear.

At the next red light, she said, “Let me see it.”

She looked at it, handed it back to me. “Nice try, Charlie.”

one beer 2

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